My Recent School Activities

A Farm Field Trip
I volunteered and then got picked to be one of the five chaperons to take the class to a farm to watch the newly born farm animals last week.  I had five kids to watch, A included of course.  Mind you, it was a draining and humbling experience to watch a chaotic group; got me to appreciate teachers even more!!  There were no naughty kid in my group, no teasing, no messing around, there were just five kids; and are unpredictable.  It was a rather cold day too but it was an awesome experience.  A was thrilled.  Not only because the school started later that day but also because his mom was going to be with him at school and through the day trip.  He had a blast for sure.  Thank God we had no accident in our group.  At one point though C ran away and me and the Farm Lady had to run after him and bring him back.  I like C very much!  He is a shorter boy in the class, he talks with a little bit of a stutter and a bit of face twitch, and he is very bright and sensitive.  All in all, glad I could make the trip; not sure if I will do it again.

Art Vistas
I volunteered for the Art Vistas session in April; I am done with it today and it was a very easy day.  First off it was on the Good Friday when our company has it as a holiday.  So I leisurely went to school not worrying about all the unattended emails and phone calls from the offive.  Then, I hardly had any responsibility except to prepare the desks with art papers and then walk around and observe and comment on the drawings. The subject was Houses.  And the kids came up with very imaginative house ideas.  A's was The Rainbow House.  There were a bunch of Boat Houses.  There was a shapeless black mass in the middle of a blue background drawn by T, he said it was a Wobbly House and he thought you could FEEL that it wobbled! T is the scientist in the class, I can tell; and he is going to win the Physics Olympiad one day, we shall wait and see.  My favorite though was drawn by N, it was a green house with a purple window and a brown chimney and no door.  He said proudly "it has no door because you need to put up a ladder and climb down the chimney".  Loved the idea!!
Later during recess my C boy had an accident in the sandbox where sand got into his eyes.  His tears broke my heart.  He is such an innocently lovely boy!  He went to the nurses office and came back happily of course.  That is what being 5-6 year old mean.
The other news of the day was how F's mom, who was also volunteering, told me that F had a crush on A!!  That she thought he was very cute.  That at first she had said that she liked A very much and later had said that she loved A!!  Oh my!  But you know?  F is the cutest most precious girl in the class if you ask me.  She always dresses very nicely and cares about her appearance.  She knows she is cute.  I think her mom is originally from far east and his dad is Caucasian white so she has very big black eyes and the cutest face.  So, as the mother of the boy, I am actually giddy about this!!  Gosh I can imagine F's mom is not as happy being the mother of the girl.  Especially since A is such an indifferent boy in the class!!
I think I am done with my school assignments this year.  Next will be the end of school art exhibition or something that I am planning to go in June.

A Nicely Soar Duo

M and I went to a badminton court yesterday and played for an hour while A was at his Farsi school.  There were two other friends with us.  It was indeed refreshing!  The last time M and I had played together was way before A was born.  It was M's suggestion to resume the activity and turned to a really nice experience all around.  But of course today I was soar in particular parts of my body; still it was a pleasantly soar sizdah be dar, the thirteenth day of the Persian New Year!

Cinderella Ice Cream

One on my dearest friends, D.G., had told me that the best Pistachio Ice cream was in Santa Cruz.  I had my best Green Tea ice cream there, so it was easy to believe.  He had also suggested that one of the longer days of summer when the sun sets quite late we could make a stop at the creamy on our way to the weekly meeting with friends and try one.  We always carpool together and to get to the meeting, we go past Santa Cruz.
Last night, we carpooled to the meeting again and this time D.D. was carpooling with us too.  Coming back from the Circle around 11:40 we missed our exit to HWY17 because I was talking with D.G. and he got distracted.  He kindly assured me that there was no reason to be sorry and that the next highway U-turn would bring us back on track.  Two minutes after we were at a point of decision: straight would take us to Santa Cruz and the creamery, U-turn would bring us on HWY17.  He asked which one I would choose.  I looked at him puzzled: "are they open now?" "I believe they are open till midnight" he responded.  "Straight ahead!" I replied giddily; and turned to D.D.: "I suppose you are going to have an ice cream tonight"; he sounded happy.
So, in two minutes, a party of three entered the shop and from all the exotic flavors all ordered the Cardamom Pistachio flavor; I requested a two flavor cup so I could add the ginger flavor to it; there was a special significance to that flavor...  Ah! It was amazing!  I was so pleased with the unexpected treat!  And the suggestion manifested way before the summer too!
We sat down a while so D.G. would finish his because he had to hold the wheel driving back; until a polite shop keeper approached: "we are closing".  It was midnight.  We had to leave the shop right at the strike.  It felt like experiencing a Cinderella ice cream :)  Rest assured D.G.'s car did not convert to pumpkin after the twelfths strike.

Joy

What I felt today at the retreat: joy.

God is resembled through everything and everyone; to accept and respect everyone's understanding.
To keep the channel that God flows through cleanse.

This is indeed a happily structured world.  It is only through this life that we get to learn to love Him.
To be content with God is to know it is all from Him; and anything from Him is a blessing.
Pain and sickness ... sent to us by God.  All is beautiful.
To love God is to Love those who talk us down.
To be aware of the afflictions of our hearts and ask God to be the witness to them.
There is a time to be near, there is a time to be far; to accept our humane aspects in this life and within this Love.
...
I think I am typing what resembled with my heart the most, and what I can share.
...
I had the honor to hear Cemalnour a few years ago; back then I thought I understood what she said.  Then on Saturday she repeated some of the stories and meanings she had shared with us back then and I realized I had not understood the meaning back then, as my realization was different this time.  So, I am sure I didn't fully comprehend her this time.   This is a happy realization.  I am not dead, I am still growing.  This is part of my growth I hope, and because I am a human, a faulty human who will never become perfect, but strives for it.

Yaa Hu

Becoming Fully Nothing

It was a majestic night, in the arms of the Beloved, in presence of all these great men and women of God.

My life in front of my eyes. As though all the talks were a response to a prayer, a yearning, a question.

Being there with my friends of the heart and the true and worldly teachers was a true blessing.

All the below notes are quotations from the discussions:

Being a Human is: Letting go of intellect and becoming intimate. Being told off by another person, the question why, and the response from Mathnawi that to become really clean one needs to get wet. Becoming purely nothing to reflect the real beauty. The world is truly a happy place; our perceptions make the idea of suffering. Our happiness and well being does not require things to be in a certain way. Becoming fully human is to be; and to close the eye that sees the bad in others. Everyone is a manifestation of God, so whom can we hate? Real modesty is not to be angry at people who talk behind our back. And He is with you wherever you are.

Yaa Hu

Happy Spring!

With all the best wishes for a happy, healthy, wealthy, and successful Persian New Year for all!

It was a nice New Year celebration with my family this year.

Like years before we took a haft-seen to A's school.  He had a blast conducting the introductions with me.  He seemed to enjoy being in charge of the class for 20 minutes.

Weekend Commute

She was watching outside the window from her window seat.  The train was going west toward the woods.
It seemed to be raining in the woods on top of the hills, she could tell with the dark shadows on the trees out there.
She put on her iPod and opened her book but continued watching outside her window.
She was smiling, listening to the "On The Beautiful Blue Danube" Waltz, swaying slightly at her neck and shoulders with the rhythm.  Closed her eyes.  Da raa raa raam raa raam ...
She felt a slight force to open her eyes; there was a young looking man sitting on the opposite sit on the other side of the train staring directly at her with a slight smile.  She smiled back and looked down on her book to find herself forced to look up again. He was still staring at her with the same smile.  Oh!  Strange she thought, and looked out the window, sheepishly lowered the volume on her iPod.  But it was the crescendo; the excitement was unbearable; she tapped her foot on the floor still looking outside the window.
The train was approaching a station.  Silent in her ears.  Next song.
She was looking outside at the station; what she was listening to was a classic concerto; what she was looking at was a modern station she thought.
As soon as she turned away from the window she found the man standing by her seat. "May I?" he asked.  Shockingly she looked at him and shook her head.  Polite, she thought.
He was carrying a book himself, and a shoulder bag which he put down on the floor in front of his feet.  What she was listening to was conducted by a great man at a majestic music hall; whom she was looking at was a curious weekend commuter she thought.
He sat down and opened his book.  She turned toward the window again.  "Pieces de Viole".
It was raining now.
He reached down and grabbed something from his bag.  "Chocolate?" he asked.  She looked down at the wrapping.  "Masala chocolate".  A blue-eyed blond man having a masala flavored chocolate bar in a train on a rainy weekend day??!  "Sure!  Thanks!!"
She cracked a piece and brought it to her nose.  Chocolaty, spicy, creamy.
"May I ask what you were listening to?"  "Oh!  When?  I am not sure."  She unplugged the earpieces and gave him the iPod.  He shuffled around.  Paused at a couple of the songs on her "classic" collection.  Smiled again, his eyebrows were raised.
"Neat!" he exclaimed.  And returned the iPod.  Then opened his book, took out the bookmark, and put it beside him in between them.  She put on her music again and watched out of the window.  It was darker outside.  She could see her reflection on it; she brought one finger to her lower lip, it felt as soft as it looked in her reflection she thought.  A soft symphony.
"See you later!".  He was standing up to leave.  They were at a station.  She looked up and shook her head.
Next song.
Mozart.
How come they didn't talk more than a few words?  She was preoccupied with her music, that is why.  But it was because of her music that he wanted to talk to her in the first place, no?  Who was he anyway?  Masala chocolate and a shoulder bag on a Saturday.
Her stop.  She put away all her belongings into her bag.  She looked around.  His bookmark on the seat beside her.  A business card.  His business card?
She stepped out of the train.  It was raining indeed in the woods.

New People; New Self Vision

Meeting new people provides the opportunity to see oneself from another angle.
May be that is one reason I like meeting new people and mingling with new crowds.  Especially out of the work environment, beyond the politics and competition.
People see you in a new light and usually during the first couple meetings people are likely to share their opinions about you.  Usually these are positive opinions; otherwise, if the perception is not positive, I would think they wouldn't be meeting again beyond the first or second meeting.
I realized how I had lost touch with this new people vision from other angle recently.  Partly because I was too entangled with recent events in my life that I was not expanding beyond the events and I was not opening up to new opportunities.
Indeed I like meeting new people; it boosts my energy and self realization; may be that is why I am very comfortable with meeting new people in the planes or at new places.  I admit though, I always prefer to take the second step not the first.
I am enjoying my recent reviews from the recent acquaintances.

End of The Winter Thoughts

With every pain there is a new birth they say.
May be the earth is aching right now.
The morning are the freshest; all the buds, flowers, blossoms, lawns.
The wild flowers abound at the sides of the highways.
All is fresh.  New.

I am cherishing my recent accomplishments; I am thriving with having my feelings at check, observing them, recognizing them, cherishing them.  It was beautiful our discussion in The Circle last Saturday.  How we need to be observant of our thoughts and desires at every moment.
My accomplishments with regards to A and M; how to deal with their needs and emotions.
My accomplishments at work; my recent prize and upcoming trip to South Africa.  I feel excited about it.  Very much so.  I anticipate that the two-day stay in the bush will be very different; looking at the part of the world I never had the chance to witness.  I have had several thank you notes and well done pats in the back from the higher management lately and I am grateful for the attention.  To be honest, I do not think I am doing things differently, I just have been granted the opportunity to present me, and it has been, thank God, received very nicely.

When I am in the midst of it all, I find life very complex sometimes, with all the people, all their motifs, all their feelings, all their politics.
Yet, when I sit back in my head or heart and observe what is happening in front of my eyes, I find the scenery quite simple, mundane sometimes.  Like observing a busy playground.

I do miss my parents as we get closer to Nowruz.  I cannot say I am missing the Nowruz holidays, I have almost forgotten how it was to be on holidays for almost two weeks; it feels too far away.  But I still wish I could visit my parents for the new year.  And my family really.

It is a beautiful spring, I have a feeling that it will be nice year full of growth. With every pain there is a new birth they say, and birth shall follow growth.  Amen!

A Proud Mommy Moment

We went for a late afternoon hike yesterday in Vasona Park. A had decided to ride his scooter since we had proposed the hiking idea to him. We were walking by the lake and he was scooting along. Then there was this off-ramp he had to go down. The steep road ended into a main road with bikes and pedestrians zooming along and then there was the lake itself.  Daddy warned him to slow down but it was too late, he was already speeding.  He had to act quick and think even quicker. He was speeding and I could hear him say aaa ... aaa ... .  He got very close to the end of the road where he had to turn right and merge into the main road otherwise, the lake. Daddy was already running down after him with the desperate hope to catch him before he falls. I was just walking down trying to think what he should be thinking.  Surprisingly, he managed to turn right!  Two feet to the bottom and he managed to turn tight! Wow! And just a second after that his scooter whirled and he lost control. He got thrown off of his scooter. The scooter went left and he flew  on to the ground with a after shock when his chick bumped on the ground. Ouch! My heart ached for his pain! Daddy got there with wide open eyes and completely worried look, tried to help him get up. A turned his head back, I could see in his eyes that he was more shocked than hurt. He was not sure  if to cry. I got down smiling "it was just like skiing wasn't it?". "yeah" he responded and his eyes sparkled. Daddy straightened the scooter and rode it himself to try the break. It was working. He then reminded him how to use it. A heard him, got on and zoomed away! His chick was completely red and scratched. In the next stop we compressed his skin with the iced water bottles we had brought from home. After an hour of playing in the play ground and scooting around we were walking back when we got to the same off-road steep ramp. To my utmost surprise and honor he claimed "I wanna see if I can manage this time" and he walked his scooter up the ramp. Of course daddy and I were staying down to catch him if needed. This time, he had a complete and honorary landing! Oh! Was I proud!

Courage

"Rules are less important than exceptions in chess" say Dr Kroger to Helene, in Queen to Play (2009).
I watched the for the first time two years ago in my trip back from Toronto.  I remember after it ended I watched it again.  I am watching it yet again now in the 30-minute intervals I spend on the Elliptical every other day.
This woman, Helene (Sandrine Bonnaire) is playing the role of an obedient punctual desire-less house-wife in a working-class family.  His husband, although handsome in her eyes, is all about work and manly leisure.  The wife is trapped within this imagery she has made of herself:  This selfless obedient punctual desire-less working house-wife.  But she is brave enough to realize that she is unhappy.  She knows she can do more.  But she has her doubts.  Can she do something for herself for a change?
She is a maid in a beautiful hotel overlooking a beautiful sea; she rides her bike to the hotel every day to clean and tidy the rooms.  One day, cleaning a room, she observes a seemingly happy and satisfied couple playing chess in the trace of their hotel room, absorbed in their game and glancing over each other lustfully.  It is as if they are in a platonic foreplay the only physical act of which is their interlacing fingers.
Full of doubts she decides to give chess a try.  Her husband is no way near being interested and her girlfriends do not know how to play.  Her only game mate becomes Dr Kroger (Kevin Klein), a lonely and cranky American who lives in that village and Helene cleans his house once a week.
"In small but significant ways, “Queen to Play” defies expectations. It dangles the possibility of an affair between Hélène and Kröger in games that the film likens to courtship rituals in a classic screwball comedy. But their flirtation is never physically consummated."

She doubts herself, yet she is brave enough to quietly continue with her game.  She gives up once because of her husbands jealousy over her game and her spent time at Korger's.  But through her daughters encouragement even her husband starts admiring and supporting her.  Her satisfaction transforms her dull relationship with her husband and daughter.  But above all, her relationship with her true self.

"Rules are less important than exceptions in chess".

The Swimming Pool

The building's white fluorescent lights glimmering from parking lot. The locker room filled with the warm moist. The echoing noises. The smell of chlorine.
The door to the pool opens and noise floods out. A happily runs to the segment of his class in the pool.  It is after school and toward the conclusion of a full day. Yet, he is all charged up and energetic still.  He jumps in the water and slides away.
Tons of happy and childish memories swell out of mu tired brain. I am tired tonight but happy to be here with A.
I like this smell.

Fantasy and Pain

With watery eyes she was breathing into her feast, laying her head on her hand, looking down at the table.  When would the tears roll down?  Who would witness?  Who would care?
The cafe was somewhat deserted.  There were two elderly ladies sitting by the window chatting in low voices over their still steaming cups of coffee.  There was a college boy at a middle table with his head buried in his mac book and white earpieces in ears, a half eaten sandwich by his papers, isolated from the world around him.  And a middle-aged guy in a table toward the back, close to where she was sitting, but deep in his papers, sipping his large cup of coffee.  Who would care she thought.
Her mocha was completely cold, steam-less, tasteless.
She had just come here to take refuge from her tiring and endless search.  She needed to just pause.
The night before she was walking around the house.  Searching.  Looking for all the signs.  Repeating all the memories.
The house was quiet except for the low noise of the TV from the other room.
There was no life to keep her excited, there was no talk except all that were in her head.
She sat down on the bed. Closed her eyes and decided to calm herself down.  But with every passing moment, with every deeper breath, a new image would pop up, like "an unexpected song"; then the image would get more clear, with all the details, all the colors, all the smells even; the whole idea got more real ... but with the next breath it become unreachable, painful.
She finally gave up on calm.  Lay down, and thankfully slept.  Dreamed.
She was now sitting in the cafe.  Breathing in her feast.  Deep in her fantasy.  As still as the steam-less mocha in front of her.

The Unknown Element

There is an unknown element in the heart of each second.  Before it arrives there is the mystery of future, after it is passed there is the riddle of the real meaning.
I feel entangled within this unknown element.
I am not aware of what is to come, and I would relive the past if I could.  Not every seconds of it, not even most of the milestones; in fact I would repeat them all.  But there are moments I would like to relive and this time do them differently.
Looking at A growing in front of my eyes pushes the passing of time into my core being.  Just look!
I was thinking today that I have reached the age that I remember my mom at that age too.  Her being before my memory is just an image, but her thirties are pretty clear in my mind.  She was.  And I am.  And one day, if I am to live, I will have her age of today.  Then same applies to A.  It feels strange; unfair even.  I want my mom how she was.
Remorse, reassessment, remembrance; All familiar yet unfamiliar to me; may be I am just missing my mom and dad.  I miss them so dearly tonight.

Reevaluation

Vacation is a time for a pause. A pregnant pause that will start with a break from the daily thoughts and works, then will continue with reassessment of what was passed, and finally will end in plan forward. We are in Pacific Palasedes staying with M's aunt and uncle. It feels like a much needed break and a perfectly timed one right after a few very busy and mind occupying work weeks and before a new work year proceeds after the new goals are set through the global sales meetings. I've got the chance to chat with M's aunt who is a seasoned professional woman. I like talking with her; she is very passionate about her work and life style, even more than I am! And then at many occasions I pause just to reassess where I am spiritually; what my goals are and how I am pursuing it. Work is only one channel to practice it all. Remaining true to who I really am and seeking happiness within and being just and fair and free of judgement; all hard spiritual goals to attain but my aim. I am going to stay true to my values no matter the cost; won't gamble with my opportunities assuming they will always be present. I know I need to slow down and even cease some activities in order to make sure the main ones are completely focused on. I'm looking forward to meeting with friends tomorrow. Two more days of vacation remain; how fun!

The Award Speech

I was granted the Global Product Manager of the Year award last night at the conclusion of our Global Sales Meeting.  Gosh it feels good!

I was told about it an hour before the awards ceremony right before the reception.  I was told that I had to give a speech but I had to exercise brevity; 2 minutes was all the time I got.  

I was giddy and grateful, and a bit nervous.  How many seconds were in two minutes really?  How many words?  Which were the most important things I wanted to remember to say up there?

The night was flowing with all the quick conversations and dinner and talks but I hardly got to really slow down and think.

I had a rather rough week at the whole meeting because of several peripheral stuff happening.  But now I was excited, I knew something really good most didn't know and it was about me!

We had a stand-up comedian right after the dinner who got to announce the awards.  The award ceremony rolled along with Sales awards; people got on the stage and back down but none of them had a speech.  Until we got to the Marketing awards.  And finally, the Global Product Manager of The Year award ... my name on the board.  I was sitting on the furthest chair away from the podium.  So I had to walk the whole room to get up there.  And mind you I was wearing a very long dress I had to lift a bit to be able to walk and maneuvering my way from between people standing and chairs pulled back.  But I made it up there.

There was the President of our division, the Vice President of Marketing, and the Vice President of Sales greeting me up there.  It was a monumental moment in my career life indeed.

I got to the podium after receiving my plaque.  And the count down to 120 seconds started.  I was grateful and honored.  And that is the main thing I could manage saying to all my management and particularly my manager.  I was graciously nervous mainly to observe the brevity order.

Later I got many comments that my speech was sincere, unique, and moving.  Some colleagues even said they could cry hearing it all.

But I reran the whole scene in my head several times after that and thought if I had all the time I needed to talk, I would have delivered more in the below lines:

I am honored to have been granted this award particularly in presence of my senior colleagues who had done a great job in the whole course of the year last year.  I am grateful for the opportunity granted to me two years ago when I was a senior R&D engineer, bored and unmotivated after my beloved project at the time, which I was leading the technical developments of it, got halted.  I was told the next big thing was mine but there was no timeline defined for that.  At the same time a position opened and I thought this was the best time to make the move to marketing as I had planned to do at one point.  I already had my reputation in R&D, and I was OK accepting a demotion if needed to explore the marketing realm now better than when I was a principal R&D engineer.

I went to my interview sessions with nothing but my irrelevant graduate degree in engineering, my extensive product development experience but above all my determination to learn and execute the best I knew I could.

The interview sessions began and I got grilled!  I had never been in any interview before, as technical as they could be, and feel so challenged than how I felt in my marketing position interview!  I know they had their doubts but they decided to take a chance on me and more than that, they were determined to set me up for success.  I was determined to prove them right with their decision.

I started my role not knowing the very simple things like what ADDU was or what D-Chain was which was particularly important in my first assignment which was a backorder management.  Then here I am after less than two year in marketing winning the Global PM of the Year!  It was not possible so efficiently if it were not for all the mentorship I received from those whom they might not even know how impactful their words and comments have been for me.

After my first back order management done successfully in a matter of few months I received many congratulatory emails from senior management and many sales managers for a great job well-done.  There was a particular email though that got engraved in my career soul forever.  It was a congratulatory email from our president, M.P., I responded back thankfully with how I always was willing to do my very best.  Then he responded me again in these lines: always try your very best, and when you think you have, you will find that you have more gears to pull to propel you further than you may imagine!  This was a memorable aspiring advice that sank with my logic so well.

I am thankful for our VP of Marketing, B.R.; he is always occupied but he is never too busy for you, always there for you, and always supportive and having your back.  His whole team exemplifies his great leadership traits that are all very supportive and attentive and trusting.  I had many brief but motivational discussions with J.G. and S.H. for which I am ever grateful.

Then there is my dear K.C. who was a believer in me from day one, I could tell.  She was determined to coach me for success and taught me many aspects of my job; always there to counsel with me when I needed a couple minutes of her time.

And above all, I owe this to the single person who not only believed in me, he helped me see my unique strengths and encouraged me to double down on them; he believed in my strategic abilities way beyond my doubts; my manager G.S. who has been the best mentor and coach I have ever had.

I have worked in many different groups and I know how rare it is to be working for such supporting leaders in our management group.  I am blessed!

Also blessed with the professional peers I am working with.  We complement each other so harmoniously; it is an honor to be working with them.

And finally, my M and A who stood by me and all the life style shifts we had to all go through due to my career change; they were graciously supportive all the time.  I am so grateful and I owe it all to them.

I take responsibility for my results and thank God this is a positive one; I am enjoying this honor and am looking forward to a great year pulling more gears forward.

An Honorary Note for A Product Manager Me

I am amazed at how articulately expressive some people can be!
We had a key opinion leader visit from Japan yesterday.  I had met with the physician one and a half years ago when he was here in Fremont and had collected his input and implemented them in the proposed marketing specifications.  I remember badgering R&D sometimes to push for a requirement here and there, which is the norm now for me, and rather easy to do as a previous R&D; I know what is doable and what is not.
In any case, the meeting commenced and the new concepts were demonstrated.  The physician was really pleased with what he evaluated.  We had some very nice discussions on the side about other products.  He eventually invited me to visit his center and observe some of his cases in the near future.
Note that I had found the Japanese physicians very precise, direct, and rather laconic in expressing their ideas.  And this meeting was no exception.
Then, this morning, I received a very lengthy and rather expressive email from the physician with many congratulatory words and approval notes pertinent to the concept he had evaluated and the discussions we had.  He had even called us part of his team now which I knew meant a great deal.
It was then that I remembered, from my little exposure to Japanese literature and cinema, that how literally expressive Japanese can be despite their seemingly insignificant facial expressions.
It was a fresh note!  And needless to say got me really pleased and happy to read all those encouraging and congratulatory words on this Saturday morning!

Trust

There is a time for growth.  There is a time for idleness.
There is a time for joy.  There is a time for sorrow.
There is a time for love.  There is a time for remorse.  There is a time for ignorance.
There is a time to realize that there is a time for everything.  It is my expectations that makes me inpatient with the time.  There is no guarantee for our expectations.  There may even be no right for such expectations.  The universe is taking its own time.

Materialistic Joy

I got up this morning humming.  When I traced back the reason for this sweet happiness I figured it could be because of what I saw when I opened my eyes: my new black BCBG maxi dress hanging from the door.
I know, it is too materialistic.  But when I told my dear R.N. she analyzed it as just being a girl, a lively fun-loving girl.  May be it is alright to enjoy a piece of clothing, not to need it for enjoyment but then cherish it while you can.
M has bought us a new sound system and an elliptical machine, and he has them installed last week while I was away.  So we have other materialistic additions to the house.  A is for sure experimenting with them a lot, of course I think it is the newness effect too.
Back to my dress, I think I need to shop for a new shrug or jacket as the top now.  Can't wait to wear it ha ha

Focus!

I met with Dr B. again yesterday and then had dinner with him and his colleagues and my colleague.  The discussions were flowing in many different directions, as usually is the case in such venues. It was one memorable discussion that got me thinking.  Dr B. started asking around the table about the duration of college studies.  Then he claimed his I.Q. was low (mind you, he is a neurointernevtionalist, what is above neurosurgery in medicine really?) but he had made up his mind since 4th grade elementary school that that was what he wanted to be.  So he had focused on it! And surely attained it.  And he is not just a neurosurgeon, he is one of the most admired and valued elites in the society.  It really got me contemplate; it is "focus" that makes you get what you want.
The whole evening with many talks flowing by reminded me of another philosophical view that Mr E. had once shared with us.  His main point was that in a gathering when one talks most of the talks the rest of the company wont feel belonging; it is in reciprocating discussion that all would enjoy the chats and company.  I had the chance to observe and examine this view too, which was neat to remember.