Friday, July 31, 2009


"Finish the task you started the best way you can. There is no replacement for experience. You earn it and no one can take it away from you."
This is a depiction of the words conveyed to me yesterday by a total stranger. It was exactly what I needed at the moment.
You are taken care of...

Thursday, July 30, 2009


I am yearning for the summer days as they were when I was still at home with my parents. The cool breeze of AC in the silent pregnant afternoons when my parents were having a nap and my siblings were either resting or silently working in their rooms. I would put on some music in low volume or use my headset to listen to good ones really loud and then sit behind my desk by the window and start sketching. There was a summer I started sketching faces; I loved the face of a boy kid I drew, his eyes were very innocent and his lips so baby like. Then another summer I was mesmerized by horses, heads, and then full bodies, and a painting I finished of a mother and baby horse in front of a barn. I liked this one very much with the mother horse showing such strong legs and solid stand and determined gaze. Later I started sketching feelings; How I felt at the moment and it was so liberating.
I have missed the smell of good quality color pencils.
There was time to read. There was time to work on an English essay. There was time to go out with sisters and friends or to chat with brothers or to bake a cake. I have missed those free days profoundly.
There is still a lot I like to do and I cannot believe or accept that finding time is a challenge.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Ruby World

This morning I had the pleasure of having a call from SK. We talked for an hour I think, or more, and it felt great! I have known SK for the past twenty two years. She is an amazing friend, wise and charming.


We had no plans for this Saturday other than cleaning the house and laundry and ironing and cooking. This is not exactly true, we were going to celebrate our anniversary this Saturday which we ended up not to. Surprisingly though in the end of the day we ended up in Berkeley, impromptu, at 8 PM, to attend a performance by World of Ruby with Kabir and Camille's presence, all three of us. I proposed the idea to M some time after 6PM after listening to my friend's message of invitation and to my pleasing astonishment he did not protest at all!

I love Berkeley, the atmosphere there, the small cluttering houses, the narrow boulevards. We got to the Freight and Salvage Coffee Shop wondering if we could have A with us. The manager was kind and inviting and suggested he would bring A crayons if needed and he would not be charged. We found ourselves sitting rather at the back. A was all silent and attending for the first 40 minutes, then we started becoming creative with cakes and cookies, and after the intermission the crayons came to the rescue.

I really enjoyed the music and the presense I always feel being with Kabir. M liked the performances and meeting Kabir. A seemed to enjoy it too, he was a lovely boy: behaving greatly, greeting people politely, and introducing himself with a charming manner. We were proud. On the way back we enjoyed a double burger at Wendy's drive through as the anniversary dinner ;) The beautiful part was the small chocolate frosty, some thing resembling a true anniversary, at least for me.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Universal Studios

I liked it!
I want to experience it fully with M and A.
I love Hollywood and the movies and the behind the scenes and the stages and the sound effects and every thing. So there was a lot to like there. I liked the feeling of being there. It was a nice experience.
I found out, again, that my family is not my parents any more; there was an era a day away from them was hardly bearable. But now my family is M. And to A, his family is us, now, only for a while. We better cherish this being his family for now. Otherwise soon he will also have his own family whom he will miss if he spends a day away from them and with us. Strange double standard!

Before Sunset Waltz

Sunday, July 12, 2009


We just arrived, we being my dad and Mitra and myself. No M or A hence all is far away from ideal. We are in our hotel rooms supposedly resting. I drove for 6 hours and feel tired.
My last hotel stay was in W hotel in Montreal, QC just a couple weeks ago; a totally different experience!
I have already missed home.