Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Tree

Tonight I came home after a very very long and thankfully productive day and a nice chat with RN while driving. I was happy to be home, talking with A and chopping onions while frying turmeric in the pan awaiting the chicken I had defrosted leaving it in the refrigerator before leaving home in the morning. It felt so nice adding ground pepper to and pouring olive oil on the baked and diced potato in the pot. It was nice to be home with my family. It was still nice having dinner with a loud boy and not being able to talk to M as A fills all the spaces in our evenings.

A friend of mine, RD, sends e-mails to me and my other friends once in a while, the sort of e-mails people forward to most other people in their list. RD's e-mails are selected wisely and sent to appropriate list of people. So it is always nice to read her forwarded e-mails.
Once she forwarded the story of a man who came home every night stopping at the tree in front if his house and every morning stopped there leaving home . He was asked about the pauses at the tree side and he responded that every night he left his work problems at the tree and every morning he picked them up but every morning there seemed to be less problems remained than what he had put there the night before.
It was an intriguing story I was contemplating on again today.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Taste of Childhood

French toast was his treat, my dad's. He never made one failing to remind us a scene or two from "Kramer vs. Kramer".
I made us French Toast this morning and I left a couple soak too long, accidentally. Later when I tried to put them on the pan they just collapsed, so I put them aside to serve myself while serving my beautiful family the beautiful ones. At the table I took the first bite of the too-long-soaked one and aahh... it tasted just like childhood ...

Sunday, September 20, 2009


Sitting on the bench she looks toward the sky and inhales all the autumnal fragrance inside. She closes her eyes thinking about thoughts feeling a shooting head ache. She knows that she needs to think stuff through and clear up her mind but this inner struggle to clarify decisions and decide on clarity has become very strenuous lately. She has always been the strong sole who could manage any halter and this seemingly weakness is a newly defined stress by itself. For the first time may be, she feels overwhelmed by the burden of choices on her shoulders. She feels like running away from all this but she does not move a limb as if she is frozen on the bench.
The golden leaves are falling from the tree opposite the bench and covering the still green grass. She needs to define and choose her role: a tree that naturally sheds and regrows, the green grass well maintained year round, or a golden leaf fallen to perish.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I turned off my cell on Wednesday at 7:44 PM and it is still off. I still want to check my purse for it feeling some thing is missing; dreamt about it twice that I had missed texts and messages. I am beginning to get used to it now that I am leaving back to California in 13 hours hopefully. I think it needs a week to really get used to life without the high tech and to really start to relax.

Today I met a couple old friends I had not talked to for a while. We met really short but it was still nice to just be able to meet up even for a real friendly chat about every thing.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

From Edmonton

It is nice to be away from all that fuss going on every day back home (i.e. where I live). It is great being with my mom and sister. A is with me, all cuddly and lovely and now that he is sleeping I feel like missing him so much. M is what we both lack. But Canada is welcoming as always with very polite and to some extend even apologetic people.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Life is resumed

About two months ago we were walking by a Theatre. The big boards carrying the name of the movies and the timing were so appealing to our eyes and suddenly, in a crisp and fresh moment, we decided to step in, all three of us including A! The first moment we got inside a familiar smell flew upon us, awakening a lost pleasure in depth of the years... we watched Ice Age III. A concluded that we were in TV!!

Later, two days ago we left for Yosemite National Park for the first time since we came to Bay Area three years ago. We had all the camping stuff packed the night before but had no reservation. Leaving at 4:35am we were by the park entrance at 7:59 am, yet were not successful in reserving a first come first serve spot. It was disappointing. I really wanted to camp; not only to feel connected again with my true nature loving adventurous self but also to prove that the life can resume the way it was with our family of three. We hiked for the day and had lunch in a picnic area and headed back still hoping we would be able to find a campsite to accept us. None was achieved but we persevered. We ended up by the forest somewhere down the main road among other people who could not find a spot inside the park and camped there; it was not a campsite, not even a picnic area, but it had land to settle on. M emphasized the importance of land at this point and we did camp, happily and triumphantly.

It was amazing how A was fascinated with first had experiencing the night and the day skies. He wanted to listen to the story of a star at bed time and then the planet Earth. It was really amusing for me to listen to him asking questions about the sky and relating that to the Earth. As if he had comprehended the space the sky and the Earth are in.

In short, the life has just fully resumed!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

The source of attraction

All the girls in the park want to play with A when he is in the green field kicking his playing ball. I am not sure if that is because of his lady-killer charm or the playing ball he chose at Toys R Us. The ball he chose was pink!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

To M

I received my Graduate Certificate yesterday thanks to M for all his support and encouragements. He believed in me more than I believed myself. From so many angels this certificate is all his.