Sunday, December 27, 2009
M started browsing the net. I joined him to watch photos and videos from there. It was Aashura there too. People were supposedly making shole zard and inviting each other to drinks and meals. People were doing all that I know. And people were protesting too. People were praying but also shouting and screaming, being beaten and beating. People were killed too.
Here we are feeling desperate and guilty for feeling safe.
Friday, December 25, 2009
This is the second day of the holidays in our house. Every day we wake up with nothing urgent to be done. A seems really content and we all cherish these days. We are meeting with relatives and friends. This morning I am trying to make a traditional Jello Salad. Just wrapped A's present and the other ones we had bought for our relatives' kids.
During the past few days we received and gave cards and gifts which was sweet and heartwarming. There was one gift that I later realized was really a "giving tin". We were supposed to enjoy the content of the tin, then fill it up with new gifts and give it away. I really liked the idea which was from my CTL. I filled it already and am ready to give it away today. I hope to find a total stranger for this task!
And as always I am reading books, a few at the time. One is my Holy Book with a translation Sheikh Kabir approves of, one is on the subject of management, the other is a story book by my beloved Alice Munro, and the smart book of "Good to Great" SS once recommended. One of them that I read a chapter of every day is called "The Fragrance of Faith" by Jamal Rahman. Such a beautiful soul and name! Each chapter of his book is only a few pages and at the end of some of the chapters there is a section called "reflection" which is usually a few sentences. I was reading a chapter named "Amal" this morning. In the reflection it reads "Practice sending light from your heart to the heart of every human soul you meet ... . This awakens and expands the Light in you". He writes as if we already know how to send light from our heart, as if we know the Light, as if we readily have access to our hearts. I honor his faith in us!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I was thinking later it is so true about most adversities in life. At first you feel you are just putting effort, spending your thoughts, providing your emotions, and you do not get the smooth result you are after. But by God there is relieve after adversity.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Here is what Gene, my management course prof, wrote us today in an e-mail:
"You win some, you loose some".
Well, nothing new. But in the position I am in time and place it was such a calming phrase.
I was chatting with my mom, the wisest woman I know. Talking about my new challenges at work working with a particular colleague her recommendation was "not to predict his response". So simple, right? "Zero expectation".
Sunday, December 13, 2009
So the big day has come and gone and here I am, experiencing a new one.
It is interesting how the holidays are also approaching but I do not necessarily feel like slowing down. There are a lot to be done at home and work and this year the holidays seem to just add to the stress involved. May be that is because we are not planning to go away any where. But I am hopeful still.
A has been very fascinated with Xmas trees. I am thinking about getting him one next year.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
PS: the essay is related to the first course of the management certificate program I recently started at UC Berkeley Extension. It is a totally new experience and I am really enjoying it. I am paying a big tole of my free time for it too.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
She was driving up hill when the music in the car turned into a calming flamenco. And there was God in the orange and purple sky.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
- Physics one on one: A was dragging his cart on the floor. He had filled the cart with sand. Then he continued walked in to the sandbox dragging the full cart and of course slowed down. I was thinking how he could comprehend the concept of friction this way, first hand, when he turned to me and concluded: "the cart gets heavier in the sandbox"! Well, that's the beginning!
- Culinary one on one: A makes cake for the bees in the park; ingredients: sand and water.
- Fluid mechanics one on one: A was trying to bring water to the sandbox. First he used his bucket and filled it up to the rim, it got too heavy to carry, so he emptied most of it and brought a little water to the sandbox. In his next trip to the water fountain he took his small container and more conveniently brought some water, splashed big drops here and there on his way. On the last trip he took his sieve to the fountain, he had no difficulties bringing that one back!
- English one on one: I decided we needed to speak English in the park to make A and the park environment aware of each other. It helped with A's shyness in responding to English speakers. Today an older girl at the fountain started talking to him like a big sister; I could not hear her but she was demanding some thing or directing him to do another thing. A responded very firmly that he was carrying some water for his cake he was making for the bees. The girl stopped talking!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
A friend of mine, RD, sends e-mails to me and my other friends once in a while, the sort of e-mails people forward to most other people in their list. RD's e-mails are selected wisely and sent to appropriate list of people. So it is always nice to read her forwarded e-mails.
Once she forwarded the story of a man who came home every night stopping at the tree in front if his house and every morning stopped there leaving home . He was asked about the pauses at the tree side and he responded that every night he left his work problems at the tree and every morning he picked them up but every morning there seemed to be less problems remained than what he had put there the night before.
It was an intriguing story I was contemplating on again today.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I made us French Toast this morning and I left a couple soak too long, accidentally. Later when I tried to put them on the pan they just collapsed, so I put them aside to serve myself while serving my beautiful family the beautiful ones. At the table I took the first bite of the too-long-soaked one and aahh... it tasted just like childhood ...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The golden leaves are falling from the tree opposite the bench and covering the still green grass. She needs to define and choose her role: a tree that naturally sheds and regrows, the green grass well maintained year round, or a golden leaf fallen to perish.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Today I met a couple old friends I had not talked to for a while. We met really short but it was still nice to just be able to meet up even for a real friendly chat about every thing.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Later, two days ago we left for Yosemite National Park for the first time since we came to Bay Area three years ago. We had all the camping stuff packed the night before but had no reservation. Leaving at 4:35am we were by the park entrance at 7:59 am, yet were not successful in reserving a first come first serve spot. It was disappointing. I really wanted to camp; not only to feel connected again with my true nature loving adventurous self but also to prove that the life can resume the way it was with our family of three. We hiked for the day and had lunch in a picnic area and headed back still hoping we would be able to find a campsite to accept us. None was achieved but we persevered. We ended up by the forest somewhere down the main road among other people who could not find a spot inside the park and camped there; it was not a campsite, not even a picnic area, but it had land to settle on. M emphasized the importance of land at this point and we did camp, happily and triumphantly.
It was amazing how A was fascinated with first had experiencing the night and the day skies. He wanted to listen to the story of a star at bed time and then the planet Earth. It was really amusing for me to listen to him asking questions about the sky and relating that to the Earth. As if he had comprehended the space the sky and the Earth are in.
In short, the life has just fully resumed!!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The night sky was so beautifully vast and infinite; All the worries could lift towards the end of the world. The smell and sound of the night, the chirping of the crickets near and far, the presence, all was calming. I got to see three beautiful meteoroids and got very excited, laughing and clapping like a child. M saw five but A did not even realize what all the excitement was about after all. He fell asleep in the car on the way back and I wonder what he would be dreaming about tonight.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I was speechless. I was some how not totally at ease to show my feelings towards her. When she hugged me I could cry, and when we shook hands goodbye I could bend over and kiss her hand in appreciation.
I love her so. She taught me how to read and how to write, she taught me how to sit and how to follow a schedule. She taught me how to count. She is my first grade teacher. I found her after decades, here, in bay area, and I am so grateful for the visit.
Friday, July 31, 2009
This is a depiction of the words conveyed to me yesterday by a total stranger. It was exactly what I needed at the moment.
You are taken care of...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I have missed the smell of good quality color pencils.
There was time to read. There was time to work on an English essay. There was time to go out with sisters and friends or to chat with brothers or to bake a cake. I have missed those free days profoundly.
There is still a lot I like to do and I cannot believe or accept that finding time is a challenge.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
This morning I had the pleasure of having a call from SK. We talked for an hour I think, or more, and it felt great! I have known SK for the past twenty two years. She is an amazing friend, wise and charming.
We had no plans for this Saturday other than cleaning the house and laundry and ironing and cooking. This is not exactly true, we were going to celebrate our anniversary this Saturday which we ended up not to. Surprisingly though in the end of the day we ended up in Berkeley, impromptu, at 8 PM, to attend a performance by World of Ruby with Kabir and Camille's presence, all three of us. I proposed the idea to M some time after 6PM after listening to my friend's message of invitation and to my pleasing astonishment he did not protest at all!
I love Berkeley, the atmosphere there, the small cluttering houses, the narrow boulevards. We got to the Freight and Salvage Coffee Shop wondering if we could have A with us. The manager was kind and inviting and suggested he would bring A crayons if needed and he would not be charged. We found ourselves sitting rather at the back. A was all silent and attending for the first 40 minutes, then we started becoming creative with cakes and cookies, and after the intermission the crayons came to the rescue.
I really enjoyed the music and the presense I always feel being with Kabir. M liked the performances and meeting Kabir. A seemed to enjoy it too, he was a lovely boy: behaving greatly, greeting people politely, and introducing himself with a charming manner. We were proud. On the way back we enjoyed a double burger at Wendy's drive through as the anniversary dinner ;) The beautiful part was the small chocolate frosty, some thing resembling a true anniversary, at least for me.
Monday, July 13, 2009
I want to experience it fully with M and A.
I love Hollywood and the movies and the behind the scenes and the stages and the sound effects and every thing. So there was a lot to like there. I liked the feeling of being there. It was a nice experience.
I found out, again, that my family is not my parents any more; there was an era a day away from them was hardly bearable. But now my family is M. And to A, his family is us, now, only for a while. We better cherish this being his family for now. Otherwise soon he will also have his own family whom he will miss if he spends a day away from them and with us. Strange double standard!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My last hotel stay was in W hotel in Montreal, QC just a couple weeks ago; a totally different experience!
I have already missed home.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The girl is in the street.
The girl is shot. A killer shots her.
She falls on the ground.
A man is by her side. The man witnesses her getting shot and falling on the ground. The man witnesses her wound. The man pushes on her wound in the hope to stop the blood. Blood oozes out of her mouth and nose and ears and eyes. Her face is covered with her blood. The blood comes from her heart. The man is shocked.
The man screams. The man witnesses death. He closes his eyes and shouts. The man stops; it is all silent around him; all he can see in his closed eyes is her face, her face covered by the blood that comes out of her heart. He opens his eyes. There is nothing but blood.
The mother relies on her, depends on her, loves her. The mother lives her. The girl is shot. The girl is dead.
The fiance talks to her every night. Her sight sooths him and her words delight him. There is no word tonight. The girl’s mouth is filled by her blood.
The brother looks at her as an achiever, as a person of her word, as a pillar of trust. The pillar of trust is covered with blood.
The father takes pride in the girl. The father looks at her face and his eyes are smiling. The father looks at her face; the face is covered with blood. The father’s eyes are crying.
The girl is waiting at the gate of Heaven. She is waiting for her killer to die. Surely he will die. And when she meets him again, she will claim her blood from his filthy hands. She is not claiming her life. She is claiming her mother’s broken back; she is claiming his father’s bitter sorrow; she is claiming his brother’s mistrust in the world; she is claiming her fiance’s dreams; she is claiming her children, those who never were born, she is claiming the man’s nightmare of death.
She is claiming all mankind's right!
I am both excited and a bit anxious. Since I have married, since I have had a home I am the lady of, this is the first time my dad is going to come to my house, and will stay for a couple weeks. All is so very exciting and anticipating and worrisome and happy.
Happy Father's Day to All the Wonderful Dads!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
- A lot is going on with the upcoming election in Iran. Things look not very promising and it gets to my heart listening to the lies. God have Merci on us!
- I learnt a new side in me: I can tolerate a lot of bad going on about me, but my tolerance towards A being harmed is close to zero. I found myself acting like a female lion, furious, knowing that A was picked on at preschool. A did not seem to be sad at all, but I could cry.
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: An interesting idea about a person being born old and growing young
- Revolutionary Road: The dialogues were mine and that was very very amazing to listen to. I cannot relate to the conclusion fully but the idea was exactly something I have been struggling with: life
- Taken: A movie about human traffic that is ongoing even at this very moment. Unreal action, successful suspense, and sad
- Nick and Nora's Infinite Play list: A cheesy movie about a few teens, laughed at them a lot
- The Reader: A different movie, interesting relationship between a teenager and an older woman; interesting pride
- Antonia's Line: Brilliant!
- Slumdog Millionaire: Absolutely engaging and sad
- Vicki Cristina Barcelona: Loved it!
- And so many other movies I will try to write about later
Sunday, May 31, 2009
She smiles at the heavens.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Finishing his meal at the table: pleasant
Another accident: disappointing
Running to bathroom and finishing the job all by himself: prideful
Screaming for his desirous mater: painful
Talking politely with a tilted head: lovable
Throwing the toy train: unwatchable
Cleaning up after his play: rejoicing
Reading a book out loud by himself: lovely
Waking up singing: sweat
Running to you to tell all about cracking his egg all by himself: endearing
Paddling a bend flawlessly: prideful
Show desire to learn: hopeful
Arranging the silverware on the table: adorable
Saying hi to the cashier lady: nice
A: the whole definition of LOVE
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I had dinner with SK and VH tonight; sharing the rotten opinion I had heard earlier and chatting with old friends were really calming. We walked in Stanley Park for more than an hour; I was wearing my sneakers which made me yearning to run but I did not. Very beautiful park by the way which resembled the park side of Zenderoud River to me and I could enjoy an ice cream there... Next time when I will be here with M hopefully, and A can have a blue scoop if he wanted...
Later in the evening I got out again to meet my second cousin. She is a very nice lady who reminded me of another second cousin... Family is really precious!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I got to meet my second cousin BKH and his family tonight; we had only talked on the phone before and he always sounded very warm and friendly and he truly was, so was his wife. I got to meet his son and his daughter-in-law who are in the same age range as I am. I loved them all. I also met their friend who was visiting from Ottawa, PJ, a very interesting guy who could speak Xhosa.
I had forgotten how polite and friendly Canadians are.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
My mother's day really started on Friday with an orange flower from work, and then messages and phone calls from friends and families, it was really nice of them all. Today my M had arranged us/me a very nice day: We had a very peaceful brunch at our favorite brunch place late in the morning. Then we went to the mall to buy my present which M could not buy without my presence: a new pair of sunglasses! I had just bought a pair, but they are white and rather cheap. M thought they were not suiting all of my outfits which was so true. I love the new pair A gave me today, no need to say.
We had a very nice afternoon resting in our family bed; I was reading my new book! M and A were reciting poems. A was especially a sweet son today; plus he had less "accidents" for the day.
Early evening we all went for a run/walk/stroll around the block. I was running away from M and A for the duration of a song I was listening to and then running back to them during the second song the way M had suggested. At the third song A decided to join me. I had no idea he could run so fast! I was proud and happy to find him such a fit runner!
After his bath this evening and listening to dad's stories A slept like a charm, being so tired of the run of course!
It was a great Sunday I did not want it to end! ... Happy Mother's Day to all MOMS!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
This is the strange beauty of life I adore: There is a time for weakness; I got to the very bottom I cautiously chose not to try any longer, I accepted the limits; and as soon as I really really let go of it, it got resolved in a way I would have never imagined... It is so heartwarming; I trust the Intelligent Love that holds the whole being.
Our midterm paper got through properly. Our midterm meeting with Jan went very well on Friday. I am pleased and thankful.
A practically flooded the bathroom. Apparently he filled the bathroom sink with torn pieces of paper towel while the water facet was on. The whole bathroom floor and carpets in there got wet and I still don't know why there is no drain in the bathrooms! Per M all these happened in 10 minutes. Luckily I was not home, I just saw the pictures of the ocean of paper towels!
Before that A and M were playing while sitting on our bed this morning. M's tummy started rumbling and A got curious about the noise. M said it was his tummy rumbling. A few minutes later apparently there was no surprising sound any more, A concluded: "Daddy! Is the thunderstorm in your tummy over?"
The real story happened in Farsi actually, when M had said "delam ghaar o ghoor mikone" and later A concluded "baabaa! ghoorbaaghehe raft?"
Monday, April 27, 2009
I left work in the middle of the afternoon feeling sick. I think I was just too drained.
I bitterly realized again that there are certain scars made in relationships, of any kind, that are just never healing. Time will pass and I may forget about it but it wont heal, ever. As it was said in the movie we were watching last night, "The proverb is wrong. Time does not heal all wounds. It merely softens the pain and blurs the memories."
A few big pieces are not in place and a change is needed; the change needs energy, a momentum to begin with, and I feel too weak to take care of it. That is fine though; There is a time to be powerful and there is a time to be weak. This is the weak cycle for me. And it just gets more beautiful with my midterm paper due tomorrow before midnight!
On Friday I met the dudes again to hash out our midterm paper topics and fill in as much as possible. I was sure they had figured the whole thing out thinking they only had one or two courses and their water polo/swimming practices with no family or job and I should be the one who knew the least. Ten minutes into our meeting I realized they had practically done nothing. I shared my findings and pointed out references to them. On Sat I sent them my part of the paper and till now there is only one paragraph added to the paper by them. I am thinking I may need to finish the whole thing myself.
I made celery stew for dinner. Chopping crisp celery stalks was really soothing, like popping plastic bubbles.
A makes me laugh a lot lately; his careless imaginations and his funny observations are just hilarious and refreshing. I hope he stocks on these pain free days!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A has the darkest eyes and he knows
When he was sleepy I always pointed out that his eyes were sleepy "vaghti cheshmaat pore khaabe be che range..."; now instead of announcing that he is tired or sleepy he claims that his eyes are "filled with sleep"!
Thursday is the day
Every thing has been done on Thursdays, and every thing will be done on Thursdays!
At night we were driving, he asked where the sun was, and to the answer "on the other side of the planet" his question followed "where is the other side of the planet?"
Blue is the color
A is prettending to drive to Safeway on his toy truck: "I am going to buy us milk". Me: "Great! Please buy us a few potato too" -"OK! I'll buy blue potato"
I pointed that his p-e-e was yellow, he confirmed: "yeah, it is not blue!"
Eric Carle's THE VERY quartet: "The very hungry caterpillar" (thanks to LM and MM for introducing it to A and us) about hope; "The very busy spider" about work; "The very quiet cricket" about love; "The very lonely firefly" about belonging
A and M went to the library together and read Eric Carle's works and borrowed a few
A was so excited after that
A recites books the sweetest way; telling the whole story with such joy every time, looking at the words as if he is really reading them
I think M is the best father ever!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
- Had not heard from him for ages, got a message today "yours truly"
- Never try to decode my code
- She has missed me so much she cried
- He thinks if she was not who she is he was the happiest man
- She, the architect, is going back to school to learn German language
- He read me the poem he had written thirteen years ago
- She covered her wall with pictures of one boy: her son
- 30+/-3-year-olds have gone strangely strange
- The above statement is fueling new words in my head
- She licked the ice cream made of the wildest berries
- She thinks it is the spring smell
- She loves the smell of orange blossoms
- He writes
- She believes it is the number 30
- She cannot resist the odor of pepper and sandal wood
- She took a picture of her wildest look
- She became a human right activist, got hurt several times, still persisting
- She found the greatest pleasure in her life doing what people said she could not do
- He started his new business doing what we were not taught at school
- She scared a cat running, a dog scared her; She thinks the universe can claim harmony
- U are the sacred secrete she'd never write about
She tightens the straps of her white shoes and starts running on the beach. She never knows the next elevation at which her foot would land, the beach is always unpredictable, exciting, anticipatable.
There are tones of stars in the sky.
She heads towards the paved road that runs by the beach and continues running. The wind in her short hair, her ever present running partner, is soothing. She starts hearing her breath and soon feeling the pulse in the veins of her calves. She subconsciously speeds up; she is so fast she can feel her knees in the air. She slows down smiling, turns back and stars running backwards the whole duration of the song she is listening to: "Telling myself it is not as hard hard hard as it seems"
She drops the white earphones on the beach. The ocean water feels cold on her hot sweating skin.
Friday, April 17, 2009
It was a windy afternoon but not as windy as past few days. There were apartments that faced the creek, walking by them we heard the jingling sound of a wind chimer which we soon located on a third floor balcony. A announced that it should have been RN's place! I was fascinated by his conclusion; a few weeks ago we were at RN's place where A went to the balcony and got carried up to play with the chimer. I would never imagine he had remembered! So I decided I needed to call RN and let her know how impressed A was with the experience but I did not have my cell phone.
We got to the bridge and walked to the other side. I felt like having ice cream badly and I suggested that to A which he passed. Later though, after walking far enough from the bridge and being completely satisfied with imitation of being a train he asked if he could have a blue scoop. I affirmed he could. I thought to call M so we could all go to Cold Stone; but of course, I did not have my cell phone with me.
We started heading back towards the park and where I had parked my car that I heard a sobbing sound. There was a young boy of age 5 or 6 riding his bike towards us. I thought I was mistaken but as he got closer I got sure it was him sobbing in fear. When he approached I asked if any thing was wrong. Quite predictively he said he was lost. I tried to calm him down, introduced myself and A and asked of his name. Then asked were he had last seen his parents which was at the park. So I suggested we should go back but he was sure he did not want to go back and that his father was going the opposite direction of the park. So I asked if he knew of his dad's cell phone number and he claimed he did. Well, I did not have a cell phone to call him! That was an amazing day to go without one!
A guy was approaching with a little kid so I thought he should be cooperative. I walked towards him and explained the situation and asked if he could call the number Lewis, the lost boy, had memorized as his dad's cell. So the guy called the dad but he said he did not know how to talk to the dad! So I grabbed the phone and asked if he had a lost boy to which he answered his son should have been at the park with his mom; then I asked what the name of the son was and he said Lewis. Bingo! I said he is with me and I am walking him back to the park and the dad said he would be there in five minutes.
Surprisingly, on the way back, M joined us! He knew I did not have my cell with me and calling me and getting no response he was sure we were still at the park and if not there on the trail. Seems like I don't need a cell phone to get in touch with him!
Soon Lewis located his dad riding towards us. A family reunion. And off we went to Cold Stone.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Enjoy this link! (caution: occasional violent scenes; the song is still good)
Check this one out too. Sometimes you find tranquility where you least expect it...
I picked up A after work and dropping him off at M’s office. How excited he was to go to daddy’s work place, waving bye bye happily! And I knew he would spend most of the time in the conference room, drawing on the white board with at least four different colors of markers.
So I arrived at Stanford. I like the fresh spirit at school. The young folks walking and biking and skate boarding as if are living in a palace over the clouds. The college years are the years of crazy ideas, crazy kids believing they know every thing, smitten kids, and I am talking from experience ...
I had to find the Terman Engineering Center building where Prof’s office was. Based on Google map I knew I was close, I parked my car by a courtyard and got off wandering around to find the building. There were a few young girls and boys skate boarding on the courtyard that was connected to a lower court by a couple of steps. There was a girl sitting on the most right side of the step in the direction I was approaching them, she was looking another way. I said “excuse me” and I continued as she turned my way “do you know where Terman building is?” Now she was looking in my eyes and I was deeply engaged with her bluish grayish green eyes; it took me a fraction of second to comprehend she had said she had no clue.
I walked by another lady and asked, she did not know either, and suddenly another kid approached happily “do you need help?” I asked about the building on Palama Mall. She explained she never paid attention to street names riding her bike and that she did not know of the building and asked if I had a map. This time I smiled at her, a kind of “of course not” smile! A young boy and girl came our way when the happy girl shouted “Dude! Do you know where Terman Eng is?”. He paused and turned his torso all the way and pointed a direction about my 1 O’clock “it is that way” somewhere over a few buildings in front of me. I pointed towards my 1 O’clock and exclaimed “so I should just walk that way?” as if I could fly over the buildings! I just nodded and smiled reminding myself that they were just kids, the way GC would say. I walked towards my 12 O’clock. Another “dude” was coming my way and I realized after I asked to be excused that he was listening to some thing with earphones in his ears. Very politely though he took them out and listened to my question. Then turned around and kindly walked with me a few feet until I could see the building and left me at that point. I thanked him, walked to the building, went upstairs to the 3rd floor, and spotted another “dude” while looking for room 344. “Are you here to talk to Jan?” he asked me with a smile on his face referring to the Prof as “Jan”! I confirmed I was. He showed me a corridor “that way” and left. I wanted to ask what the meeting was about, I had no clue. Yet he was already gone.
I arrived at 344. It was not 6 PM yet. Jan, the Prof, was sitting in his office with the door open, talking on the phone. I thought it must have been a meeting with another group being conducted as a tele meeting. I continued to the end of the corridor standing by a tall window watching outside when my cell phone rang. It was CA. He said he was coming to the building and claimed he was gray about the whole paper thing as well. While on the phone I spotted a “dude” walking towards the building also talking on his cell and thought it must be him.
I like the first encounters, a mysterious experiment and yet not risky at all. There is a lot you may learn the first time you meet a person. He was a shy yet talkative kind of person knowledgeable and passionate about his job offer in a consulting company for medical devices. He was a senior student in human biology finishing his last quarter. The course I am taking, Technology Assessment and Regulations of Medical Devices, is a graduate course at Management Science and Engineering department and the senior students are also entitled to attend the class. We talked about the course a little and how I liked the previous courses I had taken and that I was working on neurovascular devices and that he liked this subject. He said he knew RM, the other "dude" in the team, because he was in the Water Polo team and CA was in the swimming team. I was amazed and I told him I was a swimming champion at college too. He said his dad encouraged him to take the course being a maxillofacial surgeon and I exclaimed my parents were dentists. He said he was glad that their team had an experienced person, referring to me ;) After a few minutes of brief but informative chit chat RM appeared, we introduced ourselves but I have nothing much to say about him except that he was more of a silent kind of person, at lease at the first encounter.
It was 6:10 PM or so when Jan came to the door welcoming us inside. He said we were his last appointment that day.
Surprisingly, not knowing about the disease state of our subject I could still carry a conversation mainly about the regulatory requirement and market assessment strategy. I had talked long enough when Jan with his Austrian?./Dutch?/German? accent asked: “I have a very heavy accent myself but I can detect a little accent in you too, where are you from originally?” I smiled “yes, I do have an accent, and I am originally from Iran”. Talking about accent reminded me of Nathan, an Engineer in Trainee I worked with during my last weeks at Canspec who reminded me of Ethan Hawk, a taller and blonder version. The first time John introduced him and left he asked if I was from South America (I get that sort of comment every one out of three times I meet some one new) he thought I had that sort of accent. A couple weeks later we went for an out of town job, a project of mine that I was training Nathan to carry along, staying at a hotel for a couple nights in Barrie. As oppose to me he didn't want to spend the whole nights resting. This project was in a tough job environment: a cement company with a very large lot; we had to walk a lot all day in such dirty place. I used to cover my whole body going there, literally: overall and scarf and safety hat and ear plugs and goggles and mask and boots, yet coming back I had to take a shower immediately to take out cement even from my ears! But he did not stay put after works and after dinner the first night we stayed up talking for good part of the evening, he said he loved Spanish accent and he wanted to go to South America to meet a girl with accent! He also claimed being interested to learn Farsi and he wanted to hear me talking Farsi -which is very hard to do if there is no specifics to talk about. He was really insisting though, looking around the first word that came to my mind was “yakhchal”, not the best word for a beginner I know! Still he practiced a few times, he was not a bad student. We lost touch though and I am not sure if he did marry a girl with Spanish accent or even if he married at all, I left Canspec to AECL and I knew he was going to join the Vancouver branch a few months after.
The team, the project subject, and the prof all seem very exciting. Jan was amazingly attentive, which reminded me how a supervisor should really be. He responded our questions very kindly directing us to bring us to a brighter understanding of the requirements of the course project and paper, showed us a couple tricks and when we were running out of time he was concerned if he was keeping us!! He was a supervisor who was passionate about the performance of his students himself.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Last night, we were listening to George Galloway's talk. His opinions were very interesting, different, sometimes even similar to mine; but what was really amusing was his tone, his words, every nuance in his voice. I have met a person just like that. He chooses the best words at each occasion, his voice always calm and still very strong. I think this is a trait rarely found, a talent, and it is a blessing to listen to such person.
I am going to have one of the toughest discussions I ever had in a couple of days explaining a very weird situation. This is how I am so vigilant about words and opinions and expressions lately. I need to be focused. I need a few guidelines, and last night, amazingly, I was looking for a management book in the house and I found none! I am very interested in people management and yet I have no single book on the subject. I was shocked at myself!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
All is so purely heartwarming, greatly calming. I am thinking how tiny and invisible my problems truly are. How drossy the ego!
It is time to drive back. It is midnight. I turn on my cellphone and put it back in my purse. There is no reception in the mountain, am I waiting for a call? Really I am longing, patiently and unconditionally.
I am sitting in the back by myself and I like it. I lay on the back sit. The stars in the sky are vanishing as we drive towards the highway. I want to hold on to all the starry moments I just experienced.
We drive a little more and then I hear the beeping sound of my cell. I don't need to take my cellphone out of hide to know about the msg/txt, I know. I was heard.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Then, last week, I got a call from the studio and after much hesitation and contemplation we finally decided to go. Our audition was scheduled for Saturday morning.
We were there a few minutes late. The room was filled with kids and their parents, the youngest was at least three and the oldest sixteen.
Finally the catwalk show began. All the kids went on a line to climb on the platform. They were supposed to walk to their spot, then announce their name and age, then walk back and wave to the audience.
A did a marvelous job: he climbed on the platformed and every body clapped, intuitively he smiled at the audience comfortably and walked to his spot. He announced his name and then showed number three with his fingers in response to the question about his age. He is not really three but that was close enough. He walked back and waved to the audience. Such a nice job he did and so proud we were to see him act like that.
Turned out in the end that he was too Young. They might contact us again in six months. We would not be expecting any thing but the experience was a unique one for us all.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The result: marvelous!
- You can browse the online store based on your criteria rather than walking all the isles in a real store to find sth similar to what is in your mind
- You don't need to schedule for M and A to either be with you or not be with you at the time of shopping
- When you get what you ordered, instead of imagining how it would fit with the rest of the attire while trying it in a store fitting room, you grab the rest of outfit from your own closet and set and match as desired
- You can always return what you end up not liking or what dose not fit
Conclusion: It was a successful project
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Yet sometime you don’t want to write about something not to reveal your feelings about it. The feeling is so pure and intact you keep it secret, you want it veiled, your heart wants to keep it sacred ...
Friday, February 13, 2009
I park in the parking lot reciting the song to me in a whisper. I meet the always smiling janitor lady and greet her and encourage her to make a short drive down the highway to see the snow if she likes (Well, this is California we talk about, and pardon me my Toronto residing readers for such an excitement over such a tiny amount of snow you need to drive a little to spot but I still love snow!). I walk up the stairs and then into the building. There are red heart-shape balloons every where, well, not quite everywhere, not at my cubicle for instant, but at the technicians’ and admins’ cubicles. I guess I am happy with my red rose then! And of course, all these should be Mike Mc’s job! The sight is pretty, like walking into a heaven of working offices and cubicles. I can feel the excitement in people’s face and voice as they walk into the door. It is St Valentine’s birthday tomorrow, the messenger of love. However, there is love and the tiny miracles of life every where every day and moment. Happy life!
I planned to write in Nimshab today, and I almost wrote the scheme in my head. Then I am at work trying to open blogspot, and what do I know, the website is blocked by BSC because of its Social Networking and Personal Sites content. Funny! So my dear readers! No updates at work possible either, so when do I get a chance to update? We will see. For now I will write and save when the moment is right and then paste to my blog later at home, how about that?
Now that I am posting the text, it is early evening and we know now that Nargol, Afsi and Reza's baby girl, was born last night. So happy for them! So wish I could be with them!!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
We are watching The Sopranos. M just finished the last episode of the fifth season last night. I could not tolerate the violence again and I skept the last episode of this season. I liked the fourth season a lot I guess because the focus was the Soprano family. This fifth season was also interesting with new people getting introduced and new problems ...
I need a good English fiction. Any suggestion any one? The last book I read was "Runaway" by Alice Munro. Loved it.
Resuming the meeting ...
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I tuned my guitar again last night and played a few chords. I needed that, so soothing!
This morning the clouds were very beautiful. Early in the morning I was driving and the dawn sky was pink with purple lines of scattered clouds.
I am going to pick up Arman early today. I am going to just relax with him. By that I mean taking care of a shopping, taking care of a dinner (I am thinking of chicken baked in oven) and taking care of Arman. That is the new definition of relaxation! ;)