The last thing on my agenda was blogging tonight, yet here I am, blogging!
I left work in the middle of the afternoon feeling sick. I think I was just too drained.
I bitterly realized again that there are certain scars made in relationships, of any kind, that are just never healing. Time will pass and I may forget about it but it wont heal, ever. As it was said in the movie we were watching last night, "The proverb is wrong. Time does not heal all wounds. It merely softens the pain and blurs the memories."
A few big pieces are not in place and a change is needed; the change needs energy, a momentum to begin with, and I feel too weak to take care of it. That is fine though; There is a time to be powerful and there is a time to be weak. This is the weak cycle for me. And it just gets more beautiful with my midterm paper due tomorrow before midnight!
On Friday I met the dudes again to hash out our midterm paper topics and fill in as much as possible. I was sure they had figured the whole thing out thinking they only had one or two courses and their water polo/swimming practices with no family or job and I should be the one who knew the least. Ten minutes into our meeting I realized they had practically done nothing. I shared my findings and pointed out references to them. On Sat I sent them my part of the paper and till now there is only one paragraph added to the paper by them. I am thinking I may need to finish the whole thing myself.
I made celery stew for dinner. Chopping crisp celery stalks was really soothing, like popping plastic bubbles.
A makes me laugh a lot lately; his careless imaginations and his funny observations are just hilarious and refreshing. I hope he stocks on these pain free days!