Thursday, September 25, 2014

Colors of My Life

I pulled up the blinds and watched the rain.  It was raining all night into the moment; an early cloudy morning with wet color-changing trees.

I am that fall tree.  Changing colors one leaf at a time but no two leaves are the same exact color.  Sometimes I am green, sometimes red; sometimes fresh, sometimes dry; sometimes lonely within the crowded branches, sometimes dancing on one branch all by myself.
I cherish this fall tree.
I am the only one in the office as early as I start in the morning.  I cherish it and I hate it at the same time.  I love the undivided time I get to work.  I get to finish a full day worth of work in the first 3 hours of the day.  I get to put on music and listen to it loud if I wish to.  I get a head start and that is highly valued in my charts.  I get to go home and be with my kids earlier than the rush of the evening commute. Yet, I hate it.  I don't appreciate how I need to go to bed early to be able to raise early in the morning.  I don't appreciate not being there when my little monsters get out of bed later after I left, all warm and cuddly and smelling like stale babies, my favorite kind of fragrance lately.
I am that fall tree.  Changing colors just a little every day.  I wish and I hope and I desire.  I want to be colorful yet I want to be fresh and living and I know this all will never coexist for too long.
I pick up my purse and walk to Kerri's cafe.  The most conveniently located cafe around with a kind looking lady manager who remembered my name just the second time I went there.  I ordered my mocha and veggie scramble and sat down despite my to-go order.  I watched the rain and the wet flowers and the colors of my life.  Then walked back to my fall tree.  Life is sometimes as simple as that.

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