Deciding

I think I love to sit here by the fire; yet I love to put on a cozy jacket and head out to walk in the rising autumnal fog right now.

The high branches of the not so far trees suddenly look mysterious and majestic in the deep fog. Inviting for exploration, contemplation, meditation.

I put on a jacket on top of my robe and 

sit in the patio instead. It is rare for me to find such moment of peace at home. Everyone is still asleep. Surprisingly even my sunny son.  Perhaps because it is still hazy thanks to the fog.

Sipping on my (instant) coffee thinking. Deciding perhaps.

What I want to read first?

Chekhov or Maximum Influence?

Work on my short story or write in my blog?

I am just typing silently on my iPhone. The nature is ignoring me. I hear the hummingbird flapping, the robin's claws on the fence walking.  The blue jay pecking on mulch.  All these other birds I don't know chirping. Oh I just heard a rooster. And a dog barking. Gosh it is marvelous!

I feel compelled to make some decisions.

Whom do I want to be?

What do I want to do?

How do I define me?

What do I want to see when I look back in twenty years?

I need my diary.