Sunday, July 1, 2012

Lost ... Found ... Lost?

On Friday night, I woke up in the middle of the night in tears from a dream of loss.  I stayed awake in bed, praying for the well-being of the person I thought I had lost in my dreams, and lulled myself back to sleep.

Then last night we got the news that the shaikhs of the circle were exploring leaving California for Kentucky. I guess the "leaving" fact haunted me right away...

A few years ago I was lost.  I was looking for a reality so close I knew I was missing it and so far I could not comprehend it.  The more I looked, asked, searched, read, the less I found.  One day a friend advised me to continue asking, that if I kept believing it would for sure manifest. So I did.  So It did.

As peculiar as it felt at the time I felt a strong vibe pulling my attention towards the southern hills of Santa Cruz.

Miraculously I was found.  By a circle of friends, deep in the hills of Santa Cruz, all filled with love, all true in their hearts, enlightened by the lights of the Truth.  It was so easy being there, smiling there, loving there.  I felt belonging.  I felt anchored.  I thought that was the very reason I was brought to California.  I thought I was found.

Now the shaikhs are leaving; what will remain of a circle without the center?  I woke up feeling some sort of sorrow blocking my throat; like how I woke up in the middle of the night on Friday night feeling a sense of loss. What about all the Truthful vibes I felt from those hills? Will it be a hollowed memory of an anchor when they are gone?

I got home past midnight.  M got up and listened to me telling him the news.  "I guess we are going to Kentucky" he said.  That was exactly what I told D.D. and D.G. in our ride to the circle.  Not sure if we would.  But I appreciated the thought dearly.

"All the Divine asks of you is your attention" said Shaikh Kabir last night. I am sure this unknown will unfold in due time. A new chapter will begin...

Happy Birthday Shaikh Kabir!

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