I am grateful for a week coming to a conclusion with a lot of accomplishments and an episod of an awful headache coming to an end. I do not want to experience this headache again. It was not a pleasant experience; forced me to appreciate the healthier days. And to appreciate life as is. I realized I was not always emberasing life and that made me feel stressed. Perhaps it is mainly the resistance I have against the course of the events that is making me feel the stress. And the stress of not having stress is adding stress.
I miss A a lot lately during the day. I am not sure why. But I am thinking I need some time off work and with him. I know we went to Canada mid last month and it was great being away but me working off-site prevented us from having a relaxing time.
I do not want to argue with life any more. This is my life. THIS IS my life!
I know it is hard. I know that I want to manage my work and my home and my friendships and my health and my soul. Then it becomes hard to manage them all. I am contemplating why that is. Isn't it all to make a better living? I want to live a good life. I want to be able to look back and feel proud, whenever the end of my life comes.
I was told once by a wise woman to enternalize achievements. I know I am not. I still seek a good deal of approval from outside and it is not the healthiest most effective source; I know. I just need to worl on that.
I try to be.