There is an unknown element in the heart of each second. Before it arrives there is the mystery of future, after it is passed there is the riddle of the real meaning.
I feel entangled within this unknown element.
I am not aware of what is to come, and I would relive the past if I could. Not every seconds of it, not even most of the milestones; in fact I would repeat them all. But there are moments I would like to relive and this time do them differently.
Looking at A growing in front of my eyes pushes the passing of time into my core being. Just look!
I was thinking today that I have reached the age that I remember my mom at that age too. Her being before my memory is just an image, but her thirties are pretty clear in my mind. She was. And I am. And one day, if I am to live, I will have her age of today. Then same applies to A. It feels strange; unfair even. I want my mom how she was.
Remorse, reassessment, remembrance; All familiar yet unfamiliar to me; may be I am just missing my mom and dad. I miss them so dearly tonight.